Sometimes I feel so selfish.  I find it difficult to focus on my family and how my disease is affecting them.  It's hard though.  I'm very much aware of what I'm losing out on, of what I'll never see and experience, of what I'll never achieve.  Death is tough to face.  Just thinking about it makes me feel like the walls are closing in.  And that's horrible because most people in my shoes seem to have their loved ones front and center in their minds.  I'm the one who doesn't fit the norm.  I'm the thing that isn't like the others.  And that leads to so much guilt, which slowly turns into resentment, which makes me feel even more guilty.  It's an endless cycle.