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Added on Mon 3rd Feb 2020 7:25pm   Last edited on Fri 26th Nov 2021 8:46am

Kendra Lee

Is your funeral important to you?

I was talking about it with friends and I'm surprised at the number of people who don't care whether they have a funeral and don't think it's important.  It makes me feel a bit selfish, because I do want one.  I realize I won't know whether it happens, but if I were alive, I'd feel hurt not to receive a funeral service.  I don't expect a dramatic production, just some recognition that I existed and that it matters I'm gone.  

Added on Thu 6th Feb 2020 2:17pm   Last edited on Thu 6th Feb 2020 2:17pm

Phil Lieberman

It's important to me to follow the traditional customs of bereavement and to have a traditional interment.  I think sitting shiva will help my family heal.  Maybe your friends aren't particularly religious, so they don't have any customs and traditions that need to follow or maybe they see it as a waste of money.   I'm not judging those who choose differently, but marking the day and setting aside a mourning period helps most loved ones move on.  I don't think you're driven by selfishness, Kendra. 

Added on Wed 12th Feb 2020 12:59pm   Last edited on Wed 12th Feb 2020 12:59pm

Kelly Allen-Webb

I'm not particularly bothered about it either way.  I want to do whatever is easiest on my remaining family members.  Whatever helps them along is fine with me.  It's one of those issues where there is no singular right answer. 

Added on Sat 15th Feb 2020 3:46pm   Last edited on Sat 15th Feb 2020 3:46pm

Charlie R.

I don't want a funeral when I pass away.  I think it just adds more stress on the family.  I'm sure memorial services bring comfort to some people, but my family has never handled them well. 

Added on Sun 16th Feb 2020 11:20am   Last edited on Sun 16th Feb 2020 11:20am

Ebony Clemmons

Yes, it's important to me to have some sort of service.  I want to stick to the traditions of my family and faith.



Added on Sun 16th Feb 2020 8:47pm   Last edited on Sun 16th Feb 2020 8:47pm

Carla Wesolowski

I'm Catholic and I'd like to have my last last rites and a proper burial.  I've always been strong in my faith and I hope to leave this world the same way.  I've made my wishes known and I know they will be followed. 

Added on Thu 5th Mar 2020 7:35pm   Last edited on Thu 5th Mar 2020 7:35pm

Paul Jacobs

As a Coast Guard veteran, I'm all about having the traditional burial at sea and committing my body to the deep.  Part of the process includes shipping the cremated remains to the designated coordinator, so a standing joke in my house is about "me" getting lost in the process.  Truthfully though, I feel like it's a beautiful thing to be buried at sea with military honors.  It's a bit of a family legacy too, as most of my relatives who served chose to do the same. 

Added on Sat 7th Mar 2020 5:58pm   Last edited on Sat 7th Mar 2020 5:58pm

Kendra Lee

Thanks for your responses!  I'm glad to know it's not that unusual to care about your memorial and to have some preferences in the matter. It's also interesting to read the other side of it and you've helped me understand why some people just don't care or actually prefer to skip it. 

Added on Fri 20th Mar 2020 9:54am   Last edited on Fri 20th Mar 2020 9:54am

Brenda Turpin

Not in the least.  I feel that once my soul leaves, the rest doesn't matter.  I'd like to donate my body to science for medical research; maybe it could help someone else down the road.  I think my body is probably too far gone for that though.  I'll ask the hospice social worker the next time I see her. 

Paul, I like your idea of being buried at sea.  It sounds like one last big adventure. 

Added on Tue 2nd Jun 2020 8:50am   Last edited on Tue 2nd Jun 2020 8:50am

Jackson Ford

I retired from the Marines and I'd like to have the traditional burial with the flag. I've taken care of things at the funeral home so hopefully it will be a little easier on my wife when the time comes.

Added on Wed 3rd Jun 2020 2:27am   Last edited on Wed 3rd Jun 2020 2:27am

Nathan Lewis

I've explained to my family and girlfriend that I don't want a memorial service, an obituary, or anything formal like that.  It's just not something I'm interested in.  I've set things up to be cremated.   Half of my remains will go to my parents and the other half will go to my girlfriend (I chose that to keep the peace) and wherever they sprinkle me is fine.  

Added on Sat 6th Jun 2020 8:11am   Last edited on Sat 6th Jun 2020 8:11am

Virginia Chambers

I've opted for graveside services only that should take fifteen minutes or less.  My late husband's funeral is what made me change my mind about having the full works.  It was hard to go through it and required quite a bit of hosting and entertaining hat I wasn't up for. I don't want my kids put in that position. 

Added on Sun 18th Oct 2020 12:03am   Last edited on Sun 18th Oct 2020 12:03am

Darnell Washington

It's important to me.  I've just about got it all planned out too. My preacher is going to do an upbeat sermon and the choir is prepared to sing.   My nephew is a mortician, and he has promised to pretty me up since I'm having an open casket with full viewing.  That's typical for my family and community.  I think some folks really need to see that their loved one is gone to feel a sense of closure.