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Added on Thu 1st Aug 2019 11:20pm   Last edited on Mon 7th Oct 2019 1:00pm

Ebony Clemmons

Practical help

What is some practical help that we can offer the bereaved without seeming presumptions or pushy?  in my experience, most people will claim that they're fine and don't need anything.  It just seems like a natural reaction rather than the truth.  Would it be too forward to go ahead and do a task without asking?  Something like mowing the lawn if the deceased used to have that chore or picking up some extra milk and dropping it off if you know the household drinks milk.

Added on Mon 5th Aug 2019 8:00am   Last edited on Mon 5th Aug 2019 8:00am

Bob Stanford

I think you're right, Ebony. Most people will just say they're fine and don't need anything even if they do. I think a lot of people just don't want to be a burden to others.

I think groceries are always welcome. Grieving people may not feel like cooking for themselves, so a casserole or other dish they can just heat up might be a nice thing to drop off. If you're visiting someone who's grieving, offering to help with something is a nice gesture, too. I think just knowing that you're there is comforting for a lot of people. 

Added on Mon 12th Aug 2019 8:54am   Last edited on Mon 12th Aug 2019 8:54am

Sammy Delaney

I like the idea behind it, but I think it might be a tad presumptions and boundary stomping too. I guess it really boils down to who we're trying to help and how well we know them.  That said, I've mowed the neighbor's lawn a few times who I don't know well.  He was in a car wreck and his children are too young to mow.  I waited a bit to see if he had family or friends coming to do it.  When it kept growing, I knocked it out myself.  It was an easy thing to do and I know he appreciated it.  It's hard not to jump in and help when someone appears to need it.

Added on Mon 7th Oct 2019 1:00pm   Last edited on Mon 7th Oct 2019 1:00pm

Shelly Bernier

More times than not, when one spouse passes the other may not fully realize everything what he or she did. This is how they get overwhelmed. They realize things only when they need to get done. Like mowing a lawn. Considering that, I don't think it's presumptuous at all to help out regardless of how well we know them.